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Messages from
Pr. Diane Dardón
Dear Friends:
The e-mails and facebook messages pour in. "Dear Pastor Diane, I don't know if you remember me, but I came into your ministry place on February 15...I wasn't doing very well back then and...well, I'm really not doing very well right now. Could you pray for me?"
"Hi there! Of course I remember you...yes, I will pray for you...can we get together SOON? I'd love to be with you and pray WITH you! Pastor Diane"
The weary walk in. "Hi! Um, I was just walking by and wondering if I could just hang out here for a while. Um, is this a church? Is there someone I could talk to...I'm really trying to figure some stuff out in my head." "Please, come in. Hang out. Let's talk!"
The weekly news rushes in. "They burned one of our crosses!" For four more weeks the campus newspaper editorials were filled with controversy over six crosses: "We should boycott the Lutheran Church!" "In the interest of goodwill toward mankind, I propose that we boycott something else instead of a church. Let's boycott conflict." "It makes perfect sense to me to find six crosses in front of a religious sanctuary, of all places. I would expect a church to forgive where we cannot find the audacity to and see at least some light where we can only see darkness."
The prayers enter in. Virginia Tech and NIU: "two broken hearts." Last night we gathered with hundreds on campus and raised candles to remember the young adults who lost their lives at Virginia Tech one year ago. More tears, more moments of quiet disbelief, and more prayers for healing are constantly offered in the Lutheran Campus Ministry center as we long for peace in our world and on our campuses.
In the aftermath of tragedy on the NIU campus, the Lutheran Campus Ministry center continues to minister to hundreds of students, faculty, staff and community members. As one can imagine and see from the quotes above, we see people in all places of their grieving: from denial to depression, from anger to guilt, from emotional illness to physical illness, from solitary grief to a community together in the light. We listen to the laments and we continue to offer words and acts of encouragement and hope. In the aftermath--two months later--this is still a very difficult place to be.
And yet, it is a very exciting place to be. The signs of hope do abound. Students are grousing about the mere thought of singing "Amazing Grace" again! They are frustrated with the poor usage of English grammar in our current campus mantra, "Forward, together, forward." They are back, living life, thinking critically, struggling to catch up, procrastinating until the end of the semester. With the spring sunshine comes the woosh of a frisbee, the blare of cd's no longer filtered by closed car windows, and anticipation of a long summer break. Like the rest of campus, the Lutheran Campus Ministry community is abuzz with activity, offering a welcoming and fun place alongside a safe and wound-binding sanctuary. While there is still much work to be done in the difficult places, life is as good as it can be these days...it is tedious and difficult--exciting and fun and hopeful and good.
Life is good and God's people are good, as evidenced by the immense outpouring of love and support we received as we muddled through the early throes of tragedy on campus and as we continue to move on today. The NIU students, LCM staff and board members and so many others in the DeKalb community have been blessed by the goodness and generosity of our church--of your church--of you! In the aftermath of tragedy at NIU we are living in the afterglow of love! Thank you for your e-mails, your visits, your gifts, your support, your love that have been flowing in!
Faithfully and with deepest appreciation,
Diane Dardón, Campus Pastor, NIU Lutheran Campus Ministry
To the Editor and
NIU Community:
A little over a
week ago I found myself in the most difficult but most blessed of
all places. I was only minutes from Kishwaukee Hospital when I
received a phone call from a campus ministry colleague explaining
that there had been a shooting on campus. Even as we spoke, the
sirens were screaming and ambulances were racing. My instincts
told me to go to the hospital emergency room where I stayed for
twelve long hours. As parents flew in and friends poured in they
were accompanied by the constant flow of emergency vehicles set to
the drones of helicopters hovering, landing, leaving. Those hours
in the ER that night were some of the most difficult moments of my
life and my ministry. But in the midst of the pain and fear and
sorrow, I encountered blessing upon blessing.
The blessings
came from the remarkable professional staff I was privileged to
encounter and with whom I worked. The entire NIU community, the
DeKalb/Sycamore community and the world community need to take great
pride in the exemplary tasks accomplished by exemplary people in the
hospital (and beyond) on February 14th.
The Kishwaukee
Hospital medical team worked tirelessly, carefully and
compassionately with every single victim and with their families
under the worst of all situations. Their medical expertise was
evident, their professionalism was extraordinary and their ability
to reach out and comfort was remarkable. Those nurses who were
present throughout the evening and especially those who were serving
in the early morning hours when some of the most difficult work
needed to be done were rocks
filled with grace.
The Kishwaukee
Hospital administration, human resources team, social services team
and all staff went well beyond the call of duty. At midnight
administrators stood by to pay for six of the largest pizzas I’ve
ever seen—sustenance and comfort for families waiting and watching.
One wonderful woman from the Foundation Office was present
throughout the evening and morning hours serving families, pastors,
medical staff, university staff, police and others in any way
possible. The Social Workers offered wisdom, comfort and tissues
without pause.
The Northern
Illinois University administrative staff was superior in the moments
of confusion and shock. Micky Emmet (NIU Assistant Vice President,
Student Affairs) and her colleagues tirelessly fielded questions,
sorted through a myriad of issues that included handling of press,
legal issues and communication with the University while also
offering comfort and calm to hundreds of others. Our NIU President,
Dr. Peters, and Executive Vice President, Dr. Williams, personally
visited the hospital in the very late night hours to offer comfort,
prayers and words of encouragement to tortured families.
The community law
enforcement agents were amazing in their ability to keep press at
bay and to be an inconspicuous but important presence in the midst
of turmoil. The Coroner’s office was kind and compassionate in the
midst of their very difficult work. And the University law
enforcement members were amazing, with Sergeant Jeanne Meyer setting
to multiple tasks with dignity and calm in such a way that she
became a beacon of hope and calm for all.
A little over a
week ago I found myself in the most difficult of places but I have
been blessed by hundreds of people who were blessings to so many
others. It was a privilege to serve with so many talented and
compassionate people during extraordinary moments. I have been
blessed in working with these servants of our
community and I commend them all to
you as the heroes of our community (though I know none of them will
want to own this title!). On behalf of the Evangelical Lutheran
Church in America, Lutheran Campus Ministry at Northern Illinois
University, and countless others, I extend deepest thanks for those
who accompanied me and others in the difficult but blessed work in
the ER on February 14 and 15. This community and the world are
blessed by these good and faithful servants.
Diane Dardón,
Campus Pastor, Northern Illinois University Lutheran Campus
Ministry, Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
 Prayers
Dear Sisters and
Brothers:
"What can we do?"
"If there is anything you need, will you PLEASE let us know?" These
are the blessed questions that the LCM community has received
hundreds of times over the past 72 hours. My immediate and steadfast
response is, "PRAY! Pray us ALL (including yourselves) through
this." At the suggestion of Cheryl Erdman in our synod office, I am
sending this as a way of directing your prayers.
Please set your watch alarms or phone alarms to go off at the
beginning of each hour or several times a day. When you hear your
alarm, please stop and calm the alarms of hearts and souls by
offering this prayer:
Lord, have mercy.
For grieving families, for hurting souls, for fearful hearts: Lord,
have mercy.
For pains of the past that surface again, for pains of the moment
that will not fade: Lord, have mercy.
For ALL your children touched by tragedy at NIU: Lord, have mercy.
Another prayer offering...I know a lot of congregations use the
Holden Vespers for Wednesday Lenten services. I have found the
prayers petitions in this service to have new meaning these days and
as I've been singing them in my mind and heart, I've discovered that
I've changed a few words... These are powerful prayers to be sung or
spoken (Printed with the few changes I keep singing, I pray grace
from Marty Haugen as I share this without copyright permission and
as I offer these changes.):
Leader: For peace between nations, for peace between people,
People: God of Mercy, hold us in love.
L: For all who are gathered for prayer and for comfort,
P: God of Mercy, hold us in love.
L: For all of your servants who live out your gospel
P: God of Mercy, hold us in love.
L: For faculty, staff and the leaders on campus,
P: God of Mercy, hold us in love.
L: For all those who reach out to those who are suffering,
P: God of Mercy, hold us in love.
L: Grant healing and wholeness for all of our nation,
P: God of Mercy, hold us in love.
L: Keep watch on our loved ones and keep us from danger,
P: God of Mercy, hold us in love.
L: For all the beloved who rest in your mercy,
P: God of Mercy, hold us in love.
L: Help us, comfort us, all of our days.
P: Keep us, hold us, gracious God.
L: Great and merciful God, Source and Ground of all goodness and
life, give to your people the peace that passes all understanding,
and
the will to live your Gospel of mercy and healing.
P: Amen.
With deepest thanks for all your prayers,
Diane Dardón, Campus Pastor, NIU Lutheran Campus Ministry, February
20, 2008
 “Why
Six?”
By noon of last Friday, six crosses draped in red and purple were
erected outside the Lutheran Campus Ministry in DeKalb. I had asked
my husband, a dear friend who had driven in from Iowa to be with us,
and some students and friends of LCM to build big crosses and plant
them on our lawn. They are beautiful and they have come to mean so
much for so many. But many ask, "why six?" For me, the answer is not
difficult...six crosses, six children of God gone from us. All six
were loved by God and all six were victims and all six left behind
families who are hurting, confused, empty.
Saturday night a man came into LCM. His hands were ice cold and he
was warming himself with some sturdy coffee. He was visibly shaken
which was my invitation to ask him to sit with me, talk with me. He
was not a student. Up until Thursday, his only connection to NIU was
through a sister who had graduated from the school years ago. As of
Thursday, he was connected by a sixth cross.
He came to campus to lay flowers at "snow hill," a shrine directly
across the street from LCM...a shrine spontaneously birthed on a
busy campus corner by hundreds as they left the LCM midnight vigil
on Thursday/Friday. A statue of Buddah, frozen flowers, notes,
signs, hundreds of candles have created "snow hill" And, there are
six crosses on the hill: five crosses facing forward with names of
those shot and killed and the sixth cross with no name simply facing
backward. He came to lay flowers at "snow hill," but he did not.
Instead of finding solace at the hill, he was crushed by the sixth
cross, and clad only in a light suit coat on a very cold night, he
began walking the empty campus streets. After some time, he found
himself across from "snow hill" and standing in front of LCM, in
front of six crosses all facing in one direction with no names added
but with many words of love and hope written by those who came to
find peace at the cross. He laid his flowers in front of the six
crosses, read our sign that invites anyone to come to us 24/7 for
comfort and care. He accepted our invitation and was quite amazed to
find himself talking with me.
But, talk he did. He shared his life story. He told me of his
children. He told me of his pain. And, he asked if the sixth cross
on "snow hill," the cross turned away from us and the rest of the
world, meant that God had turned away from Stephen. "Does that sixth
cross mean that God has turned his back on that boy?" My heart ached
for him and we cried together as I told him of God’s love for all
the children…as I told him that all six of those young adults were
loved by God and that God’s mercy and forgiveness is for all people.
He thought about that for a long moment and then said, “I hope so
because that could be my son. I worry about him. He’s not healthy.
He knows that. He won’t stay on his medicine and I’m afraid of what
he could do. I’m afraid God and the world will turn their backs on
him and on me.”
We have six crosses outside LCM as a witness to the world that God
loves us all…that God forgives us all…that there is hope for
all…that the cross of Christ stands in blustery winter winds for
everyone. “Why six?” Because God’s grace and mercy is for all!
Six crosses.
Six crosses draped in the color of Lent-royal purple.
Six crosses draped in the color of glory--red.
Red. A school color.
Red. A holy color, reminiscent of Christ's blood shed on the cross.
Red. Christ's blood now mingled with the blood of six.
Six crosses.
A guiding place on campus--"the six cross corner."
Crosses that guide to places, prayers, hearts, hope.
Six crosses.
No distinctions, simply acknowledgement.
Six, not five.
Six children. Six families.
Six children of God, all loved by God.
Six crosses.
Six hurting families.
No distinctions, simply painful fact.
Six families crying out for mercy.
Six crosses--
offering hope to world family
facing east toward rising sun
standing firm in winters' storms
directing hearts to God whose back is
never turned—whose love is always flowing—
whose mercy is upon us all.
Diane Dardón, Campus Pastor, Northern Illinois University Lutheran
Campus Pastor, February 18, 2008
To dear family,
friends, colleagues:
Dear Sisters and Brothers:
The last of the family members had left. After hours of excruciating
waiting, they had learned that their daughters were, indeed, those
who had died in an instant of terror. As I shared a final prayer
with one family I had been with through all of the horrible moments
of waiting and identifying and weeping, I found myself standing
outside the ER doors, but not alone.
An older gentleman was standing in the entryway with me. He, like
me, was simply staring through the doors. Something—ah, that Holy
Spirit—moved us closer to each other. He leaned over and read my
name that I had scrawled on a piece of cloth medical tape and
plastered hours—eons—earlier to my shirt. "Pastor Diane. Hmmm. I'm a
pastor," he said. "I'm a retired chaplain." We were quiet as we
stood side by side, still looking out into the dark, cold, early
morning hours. "My whole life," he continued, "I've been on the
other side, walking people through this stuff. One part of me knows
the truth in all I've told others at such times. The other part of
me knows the pain of being a grandfather whose baby is gone." We
stood quietly, tears falling from swollen eyes that still seemed to
be searching for answers in the darkness beyond.
We stood together for a long time, not saying a word. He broke the
silence once again. "Once a pastor told me how he had someone stand
by him during a tragic moment. The person sat with my pastor friend
and when my friend got up and walked to the window, the other went
with him. They never exchanged a word but they were just there,
together." We stood in the quiet, cold moment again.
The ER doors behind us folded open and his family walked through the
doors, ready to finally to leave without the daughter and
grand-daughter they had so desperately hoped to take home. As the
family moved toward cars, my colleague and I simply stood there,
together, perfectly aware of one another's tears and filled with a
sorrow that such moments hold. Neither of could—or wanted to move.
As I stood by this colleague in ministry—this sad and anguished
grand father—I was reminded of words I have shared with so many
people through my years in ministry: the tears we shed in life are
our baptismal reminders. In the holy waters of baptism we are
washed, renewed, refreshed, forgiven—healed. The tears we shed
become the waters of healing and I believe each tear is mingled with
tears shed with us by our loving Creator—ours are holy waters, holy
tears, shed most freely as we stand at the foot of the cross. As the
holy waters stream from broken hearts and the baptismal seal of the
cross burns through us, we are reminded of God's healing and mercy
and grace that comes through our Savior.
In these days so many of us have been standing at the foot of the
cross, quietly screaming from the depths of our souls for healing
and mercy, quietly washed by holy tears. We have stood quietly
together—despite distance that has divided us. We have stood
together at the foot of the cross, reminded through the drop of each
tear of the hope that is ours in the cross. We have stood, searching
the darkness, and with the rising of the sun on this new day, we
find ourselves bathed in the light and hope of our Savior.
Thank you for standing with so many of us at NIU at the foot of the
cross. Thank you for your holy, baptismal tears. Thank you for
praying us into the Light. Thank you for continuing to pray for us
as we walk forward in uncertainty—but in hope.
With flowing tears and a grateful heart,
Diane
Dardón
NIU Lutheran Campus Pastor
February 16, 2008
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