In the Gospel reading from John, two words stood out to me when Nicodemus visited Jesus. “By night.” Nicodemus comes to Jesus at night, and it wasn’t because that’s the only time they could get their schedules to align. Nicodemus came with questions that I’m guessing had been keeping him up at night.
I, too, have been like him – coming to God with questions in the dark of night. Maybe you are the same. When I wake up in the middle of the night, my questions for God resemble something more like a basketball. I know this sounds odd, but stick with me.
You are in the driveway, alone, just shooting hoops. But your driveway is located on a very steep hill. And if you aren’t careful, the basketball can break free and start heading for the street towards the hill. The hill where you know if you don’t stop the ball by the next driveway, it’s gonna be a long, winded walk back home once the ball is captured.
The basketball is my brain in the middle of night, headed down the hill. My brain can pick up speed quickly during those nighttime conversations. I might be replaying the day in my head – I shouldn’t have said that, or why didn’t I say something. It could be something for the next day – a meeting I’m not prepared to lead, a doctor’s appointment, knowing I will see someone that made me angry last week. Or it’s the what-ifs, or is this where I’m supposed to be, or why is this happening to me, what’s the plan.
Nicodemus may have felt like me. This might be the only opportunity to get to ask Jesus these questions. What if I forget one? I have so many, and I know his answers will just generate more questions. I can see the basketball headed down the hill.
In the reading from John, chapter 3, we don’t get any of the details of the scene. There are no descriptions as if it’s a screenplay. No prompts that would instruct Jesus to look at Nicodemus with kindness. No instruction for Jesus to respond patiently.
And yet, that is what I see when I read these words. I see a Jesus who is so calm and gracious in answering the questions, but who, in his answers, also draws Nicodemus in for more. I see a Jesus who could sit in conversation all night, if needed, answering questions. But if we read the text, Jesus doesn’t give straightforward answers. The answers he gives Nicodemus drive Nicodemus to ask more questions, clarifying questions. Jesus is drawing him in for more AND drawing him in to go deeper. These deeper conversations also strengthen our relationship with Jesus.
Over the years, I have worked very hard to intentionally slow my brain down in the middle of the night. Asking the questions AND being ready to pause and listen, allowing it to be more of a conversation. I’m not alone in my driveway - turns out Jesus can be standing at the end of the driveway to catch the ball.
